I don’t normally review zeitgeist music because it has been covered to death already and I have other avenues that interest me more. But every so often an album/artist comes along that I find myself getting a little annoyed with the press around (see my review of Swift’s Folklore). And so to deal with my annoyance I take a step back and decide to judge for myself, instead of just griping or ignoring it altogether.
So here were are with the new Charli XCX album Brat. I have liked some her previous songs as they are club bangers but never really felt like she was anything but an average pop act in a sea of them. So along comes her latest album and apparently Fantano, a very popular YouTube music critic gave it a 10, which totally shocked his fans. I don’t follow Fantano but I do respect that he is authentic and truly a music fan not a blind Stan.
But this peaked my curiosity because generally such critics loathe mainstream pap for a variety of reasons. And it turns out the album has been more or less universally acclaimed in many media outlets. So I needed to investigate the fuss for myself.
So strap in, I’m am going to do this thing. And trigger warning- if you are fan you might not like it.
I do not award a scores or star ratings when I do review. This is not normal for a music critic. Even some critics I respect caved into a rating system eventually. I refuse. Because too many people just look for the number or star and don’t actually read the content to understand the context.
Read this review and based on the words you will know how I feel. And you may even figure out how you would feel about the music too because what I may or may not like might be the very thing you enjoy or hate.
I point this out because if I were to have a number or point system, 2-3 demerits would be immediately assigned for glaring vocal effects/pitch correction on an album. I know this is the norm and has been for years in mainstream music.
I. Do. Not. Care.
I have higher standards for my pop and club music period. I do not abide by such half-assery. Take the time and dedication to your craft of singing and practicing until you can get it right. I docked points on my camp queen Kylie, I’ve done it for Dua Lipa, and I’ll do it to Charli and any other singer if it is too obvious or too much. I don’t want to hear a robot I want to hear a human flaws and all. It was how I was raised.
Alright, let’s get to the music.
Track #1, “360” enters casually and goes nowhere. It stays at one tone the entire time, no build or slightest shift to maintain interest. I was really hoping the chorus would throw down to get the club party started but it does not and for a pop record the opening track sets the tone. Also for a song with 6 songwriters you would’ve thought something more exciting would have come of it. And unless this is some electro version of Sade I do not like my pop albums starting mellow. But hey it is in and out and soon to be forgotten by the next song, which is also under three minutes.
Side Note: Coincidentally, I just did a haiku review for the Minutemen double album Double Nickels on the Dime where most songs fall under two minutes.
Punk that’s, funky? Yes!
Scathing short songs with boss bass
It ain’t fuckin’ ‘round
And for me those songs take me somewhere and have something more to say. Also punk often has a tradition of getting in, making a point, and getting out as fast as possible. Pop is more about being catchy and singing along and dancing so they do tend to do different things.
Anyway, for a song titled, “Club Classics” I expected to hit harder and sound more like… I dunno… a club classic. Where is the get wrecked bombast of a song like, “Let’s Dance” by Gaga or the sugared sex of, “I feel Love” by Donna Summer. It starts somewhat strong by then just kinda peters out to whimper as if club kids today don’t have the stamina for an 8 minute dancefloor epic.
As I was writing this, “Sympathy Is A Knife” came and went and I don’t even recall anything about the song!
Well you should be paying attention to the music!
I argue if the music is really good it will demand my attention.
“I Might Say Something Stupid”, is a ballad I guess, but it also came a went. Again, the songs are super short. And for what I was sold as going to be a club record so far I’m not feeling and strong urge to lose my shit and dance. And the short track length certainly does not help maintain a club mood.
It is not until track five “Talk Talk” do I feel like getting up and moving. It is fun and pleasant enough. Lyrically the song is pretty average. There is not much there but… so what? It is average for pop club music. Most music of that kind that I throw down to is not super deep. So I can’t fault the lyrics for doing what pop/dance music has normally done for decades. That said if I want “Talk Talk” at the club…
I am starting to think the songs are short because because well there is not enough there to make them worth being longer. So that is a weird plus and negative. The plus being Charli understood her songs don’t have much going on so why drag them out. But then they don’t get to build or go anywhere. This could be helped if pop songs were allowed to have guitar solos or instrumental breaks or heaven forbid a bridge.
But then you have Daft Punk… and those songs are repetitive as all get out. I won’t say Daft Punk is a favorite when it comes to dance music but I will say it keeps me dancing.
“Von Dutch” is club music as I remember it. In your face, somewhat obnoxious, trashy, or just a self-assured self-esteem boost. I enjoyed it. It seems designed for tik-tok but meh- that’s fine I’ll definitely dance to it. It is catchy.
“Everything Is Romantic” reminds me of some of the j-pop I used to hear in the late 90s/00s that was like a blast of intense hyper energy as if traveling through space at warp speed. But midway through the song dies. All the energy just dies. A great banger doesn’t die it reaches new heights and by the end you pass out on the floor.
And I am now noticing how many of these songs wither towards the end. It’s like they had a good beginning but didn’t know how to end the song or even where to go with it. There is not single song off Kylie Minogue’s pop classic Fever that withers. In my personal opinion the flavors served on that album stick with you long after you’ve left the club or the album is over. And those songs were not overly long either but they had more memorable hooks. It didn’t take me multiple listens to remember, “Love At First Sight” or “In Your Eyes”. And it commanded my attention better.
I feel like “Rewind” is the most interesting track thus far. It did not stick with me but I enjoyed it the most so far. That said, I am calling it right now, track 9, “So I” will be my favorite track on the album. And it’s a ballad. It stays consistent but also has a soundscape that I can connect to. It reminds me ever so slightly of OMD’s more downtempo songs. I will likely replay that song. Now if only the vocals were clean it would be a truly great pop ballad.
So there is a version of, track 10, “Girls, So Confusing” with a verse by Lorde. This is not on the original album release but I looked it up out of curiosity as Lorde wrote her own verse and I heard it was quite lengthy.
Well, honestly, I was speechless
When I woke up to your voice note
You told me how you’d been feeling
Let’s work it out on the remix
You’d always say, “Let’s go out”
But then I’d cancel last minute
I was so lost in my head
And scared to be in your pictures
‘Cause for the last couple years
I’ve been at war with my body
I tried to starve myself thinner
And then I gained all the weight back
I was trapped in the hatred
And your life seemed so awesome
I never thought for a second
My voice was in your head
“Girl, you walk like a bitch”
When I was ten, someone said that
And it’s just self-defence
Until you’re building a weapon
She believed my projection
And now I totally get it
Forgot that inside the icon
This is more lyrically meaty and interesting than 99% of the Brat album. The one exception for me being, “Mean Girls” which, as a poet has some great word choices, especially for a club banger. If the rest of the album strove for those same lyrical standards I could understand the praise. And honestly it sounds like a different song-writer all together.
I will say, at the time, “Girl, So Confusing” rolls around, the album does start to feel more like a club mood throwing down anthemic beats on the dancefloor.
The final track “365” needed to open the album.
That is how this whole affair should have started. Just, “Boom, boom, shake the room!” Get rid of 360 entirely it goes nowhere and does nothing remarkable or remix it maybe because it is just so sedate and lying there on the sofa trying to decide what to order for dinner or if it really wants to put in any effort to go out at all.
Usually excessive track count bothers me because it feels like the artist in question had no editor or did not have the courage to kill their, “darlings”. But more often it is bloat for no reason other than it is expected on albums now. But here the songs are so short that the album isn’t overly long. And yet, at times it FEELS overly long, like certain parts just drag on while gong nowhere. But none of the songs really stayed with me. And as a queer who loves his club banging music I was really hoping it might grab me with all the praise.
For example when I first reviewed and listened to Björk’s Debut from 1993 last year I knew maybe one song fully. But that album, with twelve songs, most over 4 minutes stayed with with me. It brought hooks I could remember and hum. And it felt perfect in length despite having longer songs. Also, it felt like all killer no filler. And of course no vocal fuckery. Even The Minutemen punk album I mentioned above stuck with me despite the short songs and had no vocal fuckery.
Here, “Mean Girls” is the absolute stand out while “So I” is my favorite song just on the sound of it. “365” is probably the best and most hard hitting full on club track.
But ultimately, it feels like Charlie had one maybe two REALLY great song ideas so they cobbled together a series of half-ideas because I feel like many modern artists just don’t want to put in the work and music fans have lowered their standards. It is a series of 1st drafts and half songs where in today’s pop realm you have constantly put yourself in the light or you will get stuck in the shadows and ignored and soon forgotten. And so the album feels average to me and for all the praise it has gotten I wonder if critics and fans have indeed lowered their standards on what a great pop album should be since we’ve had such genre defining works as The Velvet Rope, Faith, Like A Prayer, Fever, Purple Rain, 21, Teenage Dream, Violator, Diva, The Fame…
Addition: I just read a review of this album where they talked about the “grildom” and “girlhood” this album represents. Or call them pop “girlies”.
I’m going to gripe one last time- Charlie is a grow ass 32 year old woman. But if this is how people refer to pop stars who are clearly adults that might explain why they deliver music that is often childish and lacking in maturity.
Tasty Tracks:
Mean Girls
So I
365
Von Dutch
